Yang's Eye View
by Herald Aros
Summary: [Oneshot] Roxas thinks about Sora's Drive Forms and what they mean to him.


Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

Warnings: Drive-bashing, mentioned Sokai, suggested Roxminé.

Other: This is an extremely odd short story that I just came up with. I'm not sure if it's been done before or not. Mostly, this is just my spin on what Roxas might think, and parts of it are based on my interpretation of certain events in the game.

* * *

Ever since that moment, back in Twilight Town, Roxas had been merged with his Other. Sure, he could occasionally come out, but only at a high cost. After he and Sora had fought, in the one place where they could both actually exist at the same time, he had had to rest. He had been so exhausted, in fact, that he had let his guard slip in the fight against Xemnas, and so the self-styled Superior had been able to catch Sora and Roxas's body, draining it of strength as the seconds passed. Had Riku not jumped in when he had, they would surely have died. 

Roxas rarely came out. When Sora and the others had first returned to Destiny Islands, he could see his own reflection every time Sora looked into a piece of glass, be it a cup or a window or a mirror. Not exactly the best trait in the world, especially when Sora insisted on "shaving" his "moustache." Heh, like Sora even _had_ one yet.

Then, after a while, Roxas began retreating. It started out as a desire to help: he hid away when others were near, so that Sora didn't have to explain his blond reflection. After that, Roxas went away while Sora was "shaving." As the weeks passed, Sora saw less and less of Roxas.

It wasn't because of him...actually, it was, but Roxas would guard that fact with his nonexistent life. The real reason that Roxas left was simple, and it had to do with Sora's thoughts.

Sora wasn't always talking, like Selphie, but he was prone to spout out odd facts, like that boy that Selphie was spending her time with now, the one that wasn't Tidus or Wakka or Riku. But that didn't mean that Sora still walked around without a care in the worlds. Exactly the opposite, in fact.

Sora spent the majority of his time now coming up with every possible disaster, and how he would overcome it. Some scenarios took him several days. One had him totally stumped, until finally he broke down and asked Kairi and Riku. The three of them put their Keyblade-attracting hearts together and came up with a solution, but that's beside the point. The point is, Sora thought, a lot. And Roxas just couldn't take it anymore.

He had nothing against thinking; really, he didn't. He had been Sora's number-one supporter when the Keyblade Master had at first hesitated. But he hadn't counted on memories entering the equation.

He could cope with Sora inadvertently bombarding him with thoughts and ideas and questions every day, waking to sleeping. He could survive the dull exercise of school, and the less-than-thrilling afternoon sparring matches between Sora or Riku and Tidus or Wakka. He could even stomach the handful of times that Sora and Kairi had kissed, even though he desperately wanted his own body, just for a few minutes, so that he could kiss Naminé like that.

All of that grated, but he tolerated it all for Sora, who was closer than a brother to him. He had essentially sacrificed the best time of his life for the brunet, so he might as well make sure that Sora made it worth the cost. But then he was sucked into one of those memories that came along with the thoughts, and suddenly he remembered.

He remembered Sora shifting to his Valor Form, absorbing Goofy into him. He remembered Sora's feelings; the courage, the fearlessness, and the intense friendship that he felt towards _everyone_. To Sora, the Valor Form was warm, radiating bravery and the other positive aspects of Fire.

But to Roxas, who had known Axel better than any, it was less than the ashes left after a campfire. To him, whenever Sora stepped up and became Red-Sora, there was a sudden decrease in temperature, as if Sora had lost the flame that was keeping Roxas warm. To him, the movements were slow and sluggish, and Sora's natural cheer was replaced by a sort of cold leadership. Roxas could do nothing, only sit and watch, and hope that Sora's time would run out soon, before his fingers and toes went numb. Sometimes it did, but lately it hadn't.

He also remembered Sora gaining the Wisdom Form, joining with Donald. He remembered what had gone through Sora's mind: loyalty, power, and knowledge. To Sora, the Wisdom Form was cool, distant from everyone but still kind, still Sora. To the Keyblade Master, his Wisdom Form was Water.

But Roxas had met Demyx, and Roxas knew Water. Roxas watched Sora shoot energy from his Keyblade, and had been forced to step in several times, as Sora's shots might have hit Goofy or another ally. To Roxas, Blue-Sora felt weak, reminding him of a time when he had sparred with Saïx. The younger Nobody remembered how his legs had barely supported him, and how he had to concentrate to walk; that was how Blue-Sora felt. Roxas never questioned him, but he had the distinct feeling that Blue-Sora didn't have the answers that he wanted. Every time Blue-Sora came out, Roxas grabbed hold of a mental "wall" and held on, wishing that Sora would come back before he collapsed. So far, his wishes had been granted, but perhaps it was only a matter of time.

He recalled the Master Form, when Sora would take in both of his companions. In these times, Roxas felt alone, left out, because Sora's thoughts were completely shielded from him. He had to use up more energy than he should just to see, let alone use any other senses. Sora had remarked once that being in Master Form made him feel special, unique, and complete; Roxas, stung, had declined to answer, and Sora had forgotten about it a week later.

Sora had also said the Master Form was like lightning: fast, deadly, and beautiful (actually, Belle had supplied the last one, much to Sora's embarrassment.) However, Roxas had met lightning, and Yellow-Sora paled in comparison to Larxene. Having met the Savage Nymph and having heard of Sora's defeat of her, Roxas held no doubts about Yellow-Sora's comparison, or lack thereof, to the real Sora. From what he could see, Yellow-Sora was slower than Red-Sora and weaker than Blue-Sora. He was also colder than both, and Roxas had to use most of his powers just to sit up and not freeze while Sora exulted in his "unleashed potential."

Roxas also recalled the dark side of the Drive Forms, the Anti Form. Donald and Goofy were always absorbed, both of them, but somehow, Sora's inner darkness, the part of him that Roxas had kept at bay (as Sora was unable to do so while in a Drive Form), broke loose. Roxas couldn't do _anything_ in those times, not until Donald and Goofy came back. Sora's internal Heartless snarled and snapped at him, and kept him in a dark corner in Sora's mind while outside Sora battled his enemies in their form, and sometimes Roxas wondered if maybe he was the cause for the otherwise cheerful and utterly Light boy to suddenly become so very Dark. And that was when Roxas realized that Nobodies could cry, even in the "safety" of their Others' minds.

He and Sora had talked about it once; Sora had been shivering and twitching every so often. When in that Form, Sora felt his power, the whole of it, and, through Donald and Goofy, he tapped into all of it. He had once theorized that maybe, because his body wasn't ready for it, he assumed a shape that would horrify him, so that he would no longer test the boundaries. Roxas thought that maybe Sora was right, but it really didn't matter; Black-Sora was bad news, not because of the Darkness (Sora could handle that), but because of the corroding side-effects. It would be all too easy for Sora to become Black-Sora permanently, and Roxas knew that when that happened, what was left of him would die. Nobodies could outlive their Others, but Roxas knew that, at that point, he wouldn't want to.

There was only one Form that Roxas had ever truly liked. Sora's Final Form was all that his other Forms were not. Again, both Goofy and Donald were absorbed, but this time, Roxas was a part of it. That was what gave Final Form the edge, the 'something' that the others lacked.

Red-Sora was cold, but White-Sora was warm, practically alive with warmth. The first time Sora turned White, Roxas swore that he knew what Axel felt like; perpetually heated by a flame inside so bright and hot that nothing could put it out.

Blue-Sora was weak, but White-Sora literally _hummed_ with power. It flowed off of him, into the surrounding area, and wherever White-Sora stepped, the land was alive as well, welcoming him like people everywhere did, accepting Sora with a nonexistent heart, just like Roxas did.

Yellow-Sora was cold_er_ and weak_er_, but White-Sora not only was not, he was also unique in ways that Yellow-Sora would never comprehend. White-Sora was a willing collection where Yellow-Sora was an assembled set. White-Sora was a melding, a merging, a symbol of cooperation, where Yellow-Sora was a partnership, a coalition, paying lip service to cooperation like Axel did to Xemnas (or Saïx, or Marluxia, for that matter).

Black-Sora was evil, but White-Sora was the compilation of everything that Sora represented: loyalty, friendship, trust, goodness, kindness, compassion, Light. Black-Sora was Sora with a Heartless shell and internal demons, Yin, while White-Sora was Sora with a Keyblade shell and internal friends, Yang.

And as Sora remembered his adventures and as Roxas relived them, the Nobody decided that he was happy to be the dark eye of Yang. He was satisfied to be forever looking on the Yang substitutes with scorn and derision, perpetually glancing over his shoulder to make sure that Sora was safe. Because Roxas could not, would not, sacrifice any of the Soras, not for anything in the universe.


End file.
